TeenFeels: A Blurry Future, Scenario 1

Scenario 1: I have no clue. At all. About life. What is life. What is college. You hear that? It's the sound of desperation.

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10 years ago...

Age: 6

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" one asks.

"A pilot!"

"A scientist!"

"A teacher!"

"Superman!"

"Cinderella!"

"A housewife!"

"I just want to be rich like Daddy!"

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Now...

Age: 16

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" one asks.

"Umm...I don't really know."

"Okay, what do you really want to do?"

"I don't know."

"What do you like to do? What are your hobbies? What are you good at?"

"Well I just-"

"So what major are you taking?"

"I'm still confused..."

"What did your parents take? Which country are you going to? Which university? Will you work part-time? When's the application deadline? A business degree is good. How many did you apply to? Is it a foundation program? What about accommodation? Wait what do you mean you don't know? Oh you're still considering everything. Wait, no, don't take that. You can't make a living with that. What do you want to do with that degree? What do you mean you like it? Yes, do what you love, but think about your future. How will you get a job?"

Well. Any of this seem familiar? I know. Me too.

Welcome to A Blurry Future – Scenario 1: Total Darkness.

This post is dedicated to all you lovelies who have no idea what you’re going to do with life. You probably have some vague idea like ‘I want to be rich’ or ‘I want to be famous’, but you have no game plan. You don’t even know what you like, let along know what you are passionate about. When people ask you about it you want to punch them in the face for not believing that you really don’t know what your hobby is and they keep pushing and pushing and start shooting random hobbies that they think you like doing because they remember you liked it when you were younger but that’s because you didn’t really have a choice and you liked doing them just because you liked doing them and had no better things to do!

Calm down. Calm down, smoky pants. Let me pour some water over that fire.

Look, it’s okay to be confused…but it won’t be for much longer. You should really get thinking. Especially if you’re in high school. Like seriously thinking. Don’t think about specific majors if you don’t even know what you like doing yet. Online (or paid) personality tests can be very revealing, but here’s a list of questions that I think have helped me personally.

You can have the same answers for multiple questions. Grab a piece of paper or virtual notepad or something, and answer these questions honestly and thoughtfully, at the same time spontaneously:

1.     What do I do in my free time? Is it an active or passive action?

-         Active is when you create something or actively do something. Passive action isn’t necessarily unproductive or negative, it just means you’re not actively doing or creating something, eg. reading books, watching movies, listening to music. Active action can be playing video games, doing crossword puzzles, drawing, browsing for the latest music, etc.)

-         If you don’t have free time, then what do you make time for?

-         Make a list. Don’t worry, you’re not bound to them. When you write things down, you see more clearly what you overlooked before.

2.     What lessons do I enjoy in school (or out of school)? What makes me like them?

-         Maybe you like math, maybe you like drama class. Go deeper. What is it in math that makes you like it? Is it because you like working with numbers? Is it the critical thinking? Is it the real life applications? What makes you like drama? Is it the acting, the performing, the practice, the scriptwriting? Or maybe the responsibility of coordinating the cast? The cooperation? There are very many aspects to why you can like something, try and think which ones truly appeal to you.

3.     What can I do for a long time without getting bored?

-         Classic question, speaks true to your heart. This isn’t a question of free time. This is when you have a whole month off of school with no lingering homework nor tests, where chores and other responsibilities don’t exist. What would you do for a long period of time? Again, go deep. Why do you like doing it? Give at least two reasons for each.

4.     If all jobs paid the same, what would I do for a living?

-         I personally find this question very helpful. It’s different than the usual ‘if there’s no chance of failing, what would you do?’ I can say I want to be a pop star/choreographer/ballerina/skydiver/president if I wouldn’t fail, but I won’t necessarily put my heart out doing them.

-         Besides, money would never stay out of the equation when it comes to jobs.

5.     To what actions that I do do I like other people to react to?

-         That…sounds confusing. Basically, what do you do that other people react to that you like the action-reaction achieved? That’s still confusing. Okay, for example, you tell a joke (action) and people laugh (reaction). You like that people laugh at your joke, so you like the reaction to the action you do. What actions do you like yourself doing, that other people react to?

-         Another example: you like it when other people ask you how to do things. You teach them (action) and they understand better (reaction). You’re now happy that they understand better thanks to you.

6.     What do I want my future self to be like?

-         It’s okay to be vague on this one, but not as vague as ‘I want to be happy’. Think in the lines of ‘rich’ or ‘famous’ or even ‘I want to change the world’. It’s okay. No one’s judging. Forget reality. This is your life, your dream. If you’re a realist, stop being one for a second. Don’t put super-awesome-mammoth-dragon-hybrid on there though. That’s a whole world away.

Right. Done with answering them? Ponder over them a little more. Collect these ideas into a coherent list; some answers might be the same for multiple answers. That’s great - put the most frequent answers on top of your list. Now you have quite a good idea of what you like doing, or at least a better idea.

Once you gathered your likes, you are now ready for Scenario 2.

Which question(s) do you find the most helpful? Do you have other questions that have helped you? Are you now graduated from Scenario 1? Share in the comments below!

-ayeletsgo©2015